BREAKING NEWS!!! I think I have the official (real) answer as to why the Government shut down today...
They were actually just preparing themselves for new Paris Hilton music and just couldn't be busy with work.
Not only is the disgraced heiress still breathing, but she's making "music" (if you could call it that), too! And guess who is 'mentoring' her throughout this process? You guessed it: Lil Wayne (she's actually a member of Young Money). Check out the most awful song in the history of the world below! [TMZ]
The song's called "Good Times" -- and it features the following verse from Weezy:
"I'm f**ked up ... I can't tell you what's what.
All she know is suck, f**k.
I walked up to a big butt, and asked her ass but what ...
Tunechi never slacks without her button up."
As for Paris -- the newest artist on Wayne's Young Money label -- she "sings" the expertly written hook ... which goes:
"I might be a bit tipsy ...
but that's OK 'cause you're with me.
Are you having a good time?
cause I'm having a good time."
I fully expect them to break iTunes when the song drops next week.