Well this is weird. Katy Perry's father actually wrote MOViN 92.5 a letter after seeing the pictures of her kissing the guitarist from Florence + the Machine at Coachella. I'm posting it below. It's totally real.
Oh Katy. Katy, Katy, Katy.
As your father; I want to remind you how hard it is for me to see you kissing strange men in public. Especially when those men are musicians (you know the type; you seem to date lots of them. how's that been working out for you, btw?), tall, blonde-ish, and have english accents. You remember the talk we had awhile ago when you started dating that Russell fellow? He was an alright chap, right up until he started to make bad movies (Arthur, really?). And don't even get me started on that awkward tattooed-rapper-guy. What was his name, Tracey? I don't care.
Just tell me you won't get another tattoo with this new dude. He seems like a nice guy, and I'm sure he's a charmer (they all are with an acoustic guitar). But let me warn you again - don't date a musician, because musicians are like Jelly Beans: they all look delicious, but very few are actually pleasing. In fact; most are actually quite unsettling. (have you ever had the Harry Potter flavors? your mom brought some home awhile ago, I ate 4 of them and threw up)
Instead; date a failed-musician-turned-radio-DJ, someone like my good friend Justin from MOViN 92.5. I hear he has an acoustic guitar & a lot of blue hair dye in his basement.
Love,
Dad.
I don't know what to say. I'm just as stunned as you are. Your move, Katy. Call me.
--Justin
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