Am I the only person who thinks it's weird that we PAY to let kids sit on the lap of a strange, overweight, bearded, sweaty, creepy, and usually-smelly man?? Seriously, when else is this ok?
One thing we never think about is how Santa himself probably feels. It wasn't his choice that he naturally looks like jolly ol' St. Nick, he just does. Which means he'll always be relegated to dressing in a crushed red-velvet suit once per year & let little kids spit, puke, pee, and cry all over him for 8 hours a day in December. And they probably don't pay very well.
These are their stories of a Mall Santa. [Today]
In the line of duty, one beloved longtime Santa in Oregon’s Portland area has contracted pink eye. He’s survived encounters with terrified (read: urinating) pets. Above all, he’s learned that frightened children warrant the most trepidation.
“We used to have a stage, with a couple of steps to get up onto the stage,” recalled 71-year-old Phil Morgan, known year-round by locals as “Santa Phil.” “We had some kids who were so scared — they’d hit the first step, hit the second step, then, bam! Lose the contents of their stomachs.”
As you might expect, the bulk of Santa Phil’s December encounters are heartfelt and hilarious. He gets requests for everything from Xboxes to American Girl dolls to elaborate family portraits featuring Chihuahuas, ferrets or pet turtles. On multiple occasions, he’s been asked to present an engagement ring to an unwitting bride-to-be.
But do you recall... the most famous & drunk bad Santa of all?