I'll start by saying that YOU'RE WELCOME for giving you this news first. I know you can't sleep until you hear it from me, so here you go:
Bruce Jenner & Kris Jenner are NOT getting divorced. PHEW [People]
Bruce Jenner insists it simply isn't there, and that his separation from Kris Jenner is so amicable that he'll continue to appear on the family's reality show.
Despite that fact that he has been living apart from Kris for months, Bruce says he'll be seen on upcoming episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians, and will remain happily living in his Malibu pad.
"Kris has her own place and I have my own place. There's no animosity. Everything is good," he says. "I'm happy. Nobody is filing for divorce."
God I feel better.