- There's a new app that will BREAK UP with someone for you. Will it also apologize for giving them an STD? I'm asking for a friend.
- An appeals court has ruled that New York City's proposed size limit on sugary drinks is UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Good, because if there's one thing that's inherently American it's our freedom to get diabetes however we want!
- Astronomers are saying that the "COMET OF THE CENTURY", that was supposed to arrive in our skies by the end of the year, may have fizzled. In other words; it's like the career of a Disney star who's reached 17.
- A paralyzed man in Arkansas woke up to his little, white, fluffy dog CHEWING off his testicle. Holy crap that's crazy! I mean what self respecting man has a girly dog like that!? Wait, am I focusing on the wrong thing here?
- Anthony Weiner's communications director APOLOGIZED for talking trash about a former intern. Sources say the intern hasn't felt this disrespected since recieving a picture message from Anthony himself.
(Image Courtesy: proudcanadianeh. Creative Commons)