We knew this was coming... OF COURSE Jubal writes an Open Letter to Charlie Sheen. How could he resist? The real question is, will he condem, or congratulate Charlie on his path of awesome/destruction. (Image courtesy of ofthrees. Used under Creative Commons.) To read Jubal's open click below Dear Charlie Sheen: I'm sure that me writing to such a powerful being as yourself is going to cause my face to melt off leaving me a shameful pile of average, but I'm willing to take that risk because I had to say thank you! Thank you for some of the most amazing sound bites known to man, and thank you for reminding me how insignificant my life is compared to yours. Your recent rants have reminded me to strive for greatness . . . that with hard enough work I too can spend 3-days hold up in a hotel with 7 hookers and my kid's nanny... who is also a hooker. That one day I might see my name in the credits for such cinematic classics as "Hot Shots Part Deux". Until then I'll follow your lead and keep snorting for the stars! I realize that criticizing someone so almighty will certainly be my demise, but I wanted to ask you to shift your focus. Honestly, "2 ½ Men" isn't THAT good of a show. It's a cheese ball sitcom like the rest. You're too big for a studio laugh track, just look at what a worldwide joke you've become with just a few TV interviews. Now that you've finally come to grips with your own paramount I think you need to take on bigger projects than TV or movies. That's right Charlie; it's time for you to run for President. This country doesn't need some preachy politician concerned with changing our healthcare system; we need someone who doesn't need healthcare due to their Adonis DNA. Why have a leader who is worried about being at the forefront of space exploration when we could have a "bitchin' rockstar from Mars". America doesn't need an expert in diplomacy; they need a man with "fire breathing fists" and "army of assassins". Who needs one first lady with massive shoulders when we could have two… with enormous racks? Plus, most of our politicians are just as egomaniacal, drug addicted and sexually deviant as you are, at least YOU'RE honest about it. So c'mon Charlie, take over so we can change our country's lame, mediocre slogan from "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave" to "The Land of the Free-basers and the Home of the Bitchin'!" Sincerely, Jubal P.S. Just how many drugs does one have to do to be classified as "winning"?