- A baseball fan gets a $237 dollar TAX HIT because he won a bunch of donuts. Couple that with the obesity and it's definitely a win, win.
- ANOTHER kid gets WASTED at a chain restaurant. This time, it's a 4-year-old at a Chicago Chili's. Apparently I need to start partying with toddlers.
- STD's among SENIOR CITIZENS are up 43% since 2005. Not-so-coincidentally so is my time spent volunteering at local rest homes.
- If you, uh, want your kids to, um, learn how to, uh, SPEAK WELL, use the words "uh" and "um".
- A guy dressed up as a mannequin and tried to PHOTOGRAPH women using the toilet. Some might call that perverted, I just call that Monday.
(Image Courtesy: See-ming Lee. Used Under Creative Commons)