- HELPFUL TIP: If you're going to try and hire someone to kill your daughter's husband, DON'T post reward posters at her school.
- SURVEY: Men would rather date someone who is great at sex, but poor. While women want someone rich. This is exactly why I have no problem with the homeless women I date.
- HAPPINESS doesn't peak until our 80's. Well of course, haven't you heard about all the freaky rest-home sex that senior citizens have. I'd be pumped too!
- A man named Cokayne arrested for selling...WEED. Luckily for him, he wasn't selling his namesake.
- A man is caught doing 139 MPH in a 55 mph zone. That's not the craziest part, it was in a NEON!
VIDEO: Ahhhhh, those Olsen twins, remember how cute they were? And racist?

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