- The average family spends their time together on Christmas watching 8-hours of TELEVISION. Well of course, you want to spend Christmas paying attention to things you actually enjoy.
- The National Transportation Safety Board wants to ban all CELL PHONE use in cars . . . even it it's hands-free. That's ridiculous! How am I supposed to pass time on the freeway if I'm not playing "Words with Friends"?
- A woman in Florida was arrested for ASSAULTING her boyfriend with a box of wine. The strangest part of this story? What is one of my ex-girlfriends doing in Florida?
- Researchers have found that DRINKING increases your chances of having unprotected sex. Man, I REALLY hope this is one study where they used lab rats.
- The rate of Christmas decoration INJURIES keeps going up. Man, the next time I wrap my naked body in Christmas lights and go streaking in the mall I'll be more careful.
Jubal -- 12/14/2011