- It looks like everyone's favorite PIRATE might be going away. No, I'm not talking about Captain Jack Sparrow... it's worse, WAY worse. I'm talking about Cap'n Crunch!!
- Millions of DEAD fish create a stink in Redondo Beach, CA. Similarly there are about a million "smelly dead fish" jokes running through my head right now... I'll just let you come up with your own.
- There's a new dating website that matches you with people you LOOK LIKE. Great, that means if I join it's going to hook me up with Wee Man from Jackass.
- ANOTHER human foot washes up on the beaches in Canada. And you know what that means??? Canada is now the best place to find a pair of shoes that will fit you.
- Helpful tip: If you're going to stab someone in the barbershop, wait until AFTER your hair's done. It will make for a much more attractive mugshot.
- Proof that robots will soon take over. Where's Will Smith when you need him?
(Image courtesy of spablab. Used under Creative Commons.)