- Here's everything you need to know about the NEW IPHONE. Basically if this came with fully functional lady parts, I wouldn't need anything else in my life.
- A HALLOWEEN decoration in North Carolina is causing people to call 911. Meanwhile, I'm calling 911 on ME. I'm positive that I'm going to hurt myself thinking about all the "sexy" costumes I'll be seeing soon.
- Two out of five people would rather see a fellow employee GET FIRED, then receive a pay cut themselves. That's just ridiculous . . . I mean who has jobs anymore?
- Forbes has named Detroit America's most DANGEROUS CITY. Quick, somebody send the Kardashians there!
- A woman got a STRIPPER for her 100th birthday. Similarly for my next birthday I'm requesting a 100-year-old stripper.
Jubal -- 10/05/2011