- A new poll shows that people think being on the Internet is more important than FLUSHING the toilet. I agree, flushing the toilet has never made me do naughty things to myself. So, yay Internet!
- A new scientific study shows that the Buffalo Bills are the BEST-LOOKING team in the NFL. Well at least they can win at something!
- A Florida woman got fined for jumping on stage at a STRIP CLUB, getting naked and collecting tips. WHY??? That sounds like an angel to me.
- People who get COMPUTER VIRUSES are more likely to be mugged in real life. Wow, looks like McAfee and Norton should start making mace too.
- Two Walmart employees robbed the store to get money for a SEX CHANGE. Wait, doesn't Walmart sell those? I'm pretty sure you can get them next to the aisle of crocs and WWE t-shirts.
Jubal -- 9/9/2011