- Denny's has introduced a 1,690 calorie mac and cheese PATTY MELT. You know, just in case those starving kids in Africa forgot how awesome we are.
- The surgeon general says that your HAIRSTYLE could be making you fat. That's why I say shave it ladies. Oh wait, what hair are we talking about?
- NOOOOO! Brooklyn's famous "VAGINA TREE" was destroyed by hurricane Irene. Wow Irene, way to be a catty woman.
- A new study shows that people ASSIGN GENDERS to everything, even numbers and trash cans. As a matter of fact the ONLY thing we can't assign a gender to? Chaz Bono.
- A guy is ARRESTED for having sex in an alley . . . normal. The sex was with a pink, inflatable pool raft . . . AWESOME. Judging by his mugshot who can blame the raft? He's a hottie!
Jubal -- 9/1/2011