- A man in Florida is arrested for holding his girlfriend down and rubbing a CHEESE SANDWICH in her face. This is sad, mainly because this woman obviously doesn't realize how delicious cheese sandwiches are.
- A woman is arrested for abandoning her 5-day-old baby so she could go audition at a STRIP CLUB . . . AND I'm guessing that having a baby 5-days prior her body was in PERFECT stripper shape too.
- A medical marijuana shop owner in Michigan wants to give FREE WEED to people who vote. Makes sense, since we'd have to be high to vote for most of the politicians in this country anyway.
- Here's a list of guy's GROOMING HABITS that turn women off. It says women don't like "hair where it shouldn't be" . . . good thing the only hair on my body is on my back!
- FINALLY a CHARITY I can get behind . . . Beer Bongs for World Peace! I just bought 7. I'm a better person than you are.
Jubal -- 7/29/2011