- And just when you thought humans couldn't get any lazier; here's a new SOFT DRINK that you can spray directly into your mouth. You know, to alleviate that pesky head-tilting that goes along with drinking beverages. Next up, injectable butter!
- In case you missed all the HOT DOG EATING contest action from the 4th, here's an update. In case you're wondering, I put down a whopping ONE hot dog, which I then vomited from drinking too much. USA, USA, USA!
- The majority of men and women decide whether they want a SECOND DATE in 20-minutes. Which is good for me because I usually take my pants off at the 25-minute mark.
- SPAM EMAIL has decreased by 82% in the last year. Interesting, I just thought maybe companies were tired of telling me how small my junk was.
- A motorcyclist riding to PROTEST HELMETS dies when he falls off his bike. Maybe that helmet thing isn't such a bad idea, is it?
Jubal -- 7/5/2011