- This just in: predicting the end of the world can be VERY profitable. The church that claims Saturday is the END OF THE WORLD has made over $100 million because of it.
- In more end of the world news. Here's an atheist that will take care of YOUR PETS after the rapture tomorrow . . . for a price of course. Man, I really need to get in on this end of days money making opportunity.
- A new study shows that gossip might actually be a useful way to REMEMBER PEOPLE. Well, of course, everyone needs to know which slut is out there to steal her man. Right ladies?
- A woman commits a HIT-AND-RUN accident only to find out the victim she hit was her father. Oops, looks like someone's gonna be put on time out!
- The Federal Government has put out a handbook on how to survive the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. This is a legit .gov website from the CDC. Personally I thought the world already had brain-dead zombies wandering around... their called "Kardashian fans".
Jubal -- 05/20/2011