- McDonald's has posted its first SALES DIP since 2003. Great, that's all we need, ANOTHER reason for Ronald to beat his employees.
- Political experts say that Mitt Romney's future is VERY CLOUDY. Then they remembered that it's Mitt Romney and those aren't clouds, those are piles of money blocking the sun.
- Over 16,000 people are admitted to the emergency room each year due to GENITAL INJURIES. In other words; stop being so rough Lindsay Lohan.
- According to a new study, looking old may be a sign of HEART RISKS. Quick, somebody tell Carson Daly!
- According to a new survey, Americans eat an average of 4.3 hamburgers PER MONTH . . . Christina Aguilera's on the other hand? About 4.3 per car ride to the set of "The Voice".
(Image Courtesy: hcplebranch. Creative Commons)