- An Australian man is in the hospital after shooting FIREWORKS out of his butt. Weird, I didn't even know that the "firework butt shoot" was an Olympic event.
- Penn State's star running back, Silas Redd, is LEAVING the school to play for USC. Apparently he chose USC because of their storied history . . . and obversion to tickle fighting in the shower.
- Thousands of people flocked to Chic-Fil-A this week to show SUPPORT for the company's stance on gay marriage. Because nothing says "homophobic" like type two diabetes.
- The city of Los Angeles is asking it's employees to STOP WATCHING the Olympics during work because it's affecting the city's operations. Hey! It's not their fault badminton is so damn exciting!
- A couple was ARRESTED for performing sexual acts on each other in a Kansas Walmart. Well at least it was in a Kansas Walmart, so you know they were hot.
(Image Courtesy: Thirteen of Clubs. Creative Commons)