Jubal's News (07/26/12)

• A man in China had his penis CUT OFF and stolen by thieves.  Interesting, we have manhood thieves in America too . . . their called "wives."

• Mitt Romeny is VISITING London.  Sources say he really likes it . . . you know, 'cause of all the white people. 

• A Dutch Company is planning a one-way mission to MARS and they're looking for astronauts.  I'm in!  Mars would be awesome, I've always wanted to meet Tom Cruise.

• Goodyear is making tires out of SOYBEANS. They're just like regular tires, except they constantly throw it in your face that they live a healthier lifestyle than you.

• New research shows that sleeping with a nightlight can cause DEPRESSION.  Interesting, is "nightlight" another word for "spouse?"

(Image Courtesy: lorenabuena. Creative Commons)