- Police in Japan arrested a man for attempting to STEAL $776 worth of melons from a farm. Speaking of expensive melons; what's Pamela Anderson been up to these days?
- Barack Obama says that he would TACKLE the war on drugs in his second term. And by that he means, "smoke as much weed as humanly possible."
- Walmart TURNS 50 this week. Walmart clientele celebrated by attempting to shoplift a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese, a Dale Jr. lunchbox and a WWE T-shirt.
- Michael Phelps has decided to DROP OUT of the 200-meter freestyle. When asked for comment he said something unintelligible because his mouth was full of a Subway cold cut combo at the time.
- Rupert Murdoch called Scientology "CREEPY". Not quite as creepy as the anchors he hires for "Fox News", but still pretty disturbing.
(Image Courtesy: SmoothDragon. Creative Commons)