- A 67-year-old man died at a STRIP CLUB before he could pay for any of his lap dances. In the clubs defense, they warned him that the dancer he chose had KILLER MOVES! (RIM-SHOT)
- For the first time, more than half the babies born in the United States are MINORITIES. You can read about this study in the latest issue of "Things That Make Fox News Viewers Angry" weekly.
- A 14-year-old Michigan boy found a severed FINGER in his Arby's sandwich . . . and he complained! Spoiled Americans, doesn't he know that there are starving kids in Africa?!
- A woman from New York was busted for walking NAKED through a lumber store. Hmmm, I feel like there's a joke about a nude woman and wood somewhere in here, but I just can't seem to find it.
- A new study shows that 30% of people have WALKED in their sleep. Yeah, it's called being at work.
VIDEO: Watch this bird teach you how to Dougie.
(Image Courtesy: Slick Vic. Creative Commons)