- Pizza Hut in the U.K. has introduced HOT DOG stuffed pizza crust. Shhh, you hear that? Off in the distance? That's the sound of Christina Aguilera climaxing.
- Scientists say that some BAD FOODS act the same way that "gateway drugs" do. This is true, the other day I ate a Twinkie and woke up three days later in a crack den with my "girlfriend" Hector. Yeah, it was weird.
- A North Dakota woman broke into a home and BREASTFED the homeowner's baby. Oh man, if I had a nickel . . . uh, I mean GROSS!
- A five year old boy brought packets of his father's HEROIN to school for show and tell. You might think this is sad, I think it's a success. I mean you don't hear anybody talking about the stupid turtle that little Jimmy brought in do you?
- New reports show that many guys SKIP their recommended colonoscopies. Not me though, I'm always on time for my weekly colonoscopy.
VIDEO: Watch this guy get pelted with eggs and Greek yogurt while trying to do a live interview. Yum.
(Image Courtesy: tomek.pl. Creative Commons)