- People spend an average of 44 minutes thinking about REGRETS. Wow, I spend THAT much time thinking about ex-girlfriends? Who knew?
- 45 minutes after a woman was pronounced dead she OPENED her eyes when her husband said "I love you". She immediately demanded he take out the trash, then went back to sleep.
- A New York couple was RELAXING on their porch when an airplane toilet rained feces on them. Some people might call this gross, I call this sexy.
- According to a new study, rich people are more likely to literally STEAL candy from a baby. Maybe, but even worse, poor people are more likely to smell funny.
- KFC has opened its first store in IRAN in 30 years. Ahhh, I see what we're doing. If we can't bomb them, just take them out with high cholesterol. Brilliant!
VIDEO: Someone made improvements to the iPhone's "Rock God" commercial. **LANGUAGE**