Jubal's News (02/15/13)

• According to a new survey 80% of women are ATTRACTED to a man who can speak another language.  Unless, of course, that language is Klingon.

• The Carnival Cruise ship with overflowing toilets, floating sewage and spoiled food finally MADE IT to port in Alabama.  When passengers exited the boat and realized they were in Alabama they quickly hopped back on.

• The Vatican says that there will be no FAREWELL PARTY for the Pope.  Well, unless you count a game of naked twister with bishops a farewell party.  'Cause in that case, he's been having farewell parties for like a month now.

• A new study says that married people are HEALTHIER than single people.  Well of course, having all that sex can be terrible for your back.

• A restaurant named Jack's Wayback has released a BURGER that has 9 patties and is 5,100 calories.  Or, as Honey Boo Boo's mom calls it . . . an appetizer.

(Image Courtesy: Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious. Creative Commons)