- Mountain Dew has rolled out a new BREAKFAST DRINK. It's for those of you who want to start out your day by saying . . . screw it.
- A judge has ruled that selling custom Batmobiles is ILLEGAL because it is considered a character. He would've also ruled that sex in the back of a custom Batmobile is illegal but then again anyone who owns one clearly isn't having sex.
- A Florida couple who doesn't drink coffee has become ADDICTED to coffee enemas. The strangest part about this story? It just made me incredibly horny.
- A Texas man died after 46-years of marriage but made sure to have flowers DELIVERED to his wife every Valentine's Day until she dies. Pshhh big deal; one year I got a girl a card from the gas station and four hastily made "love coupons" good for back rubs and such.
- 28% of people say that their cell phone is more HELPFUL than their significant other. This is true, at least Siri will talk dirty to me whenever I want.
(Image Courtesy: Locator. Creative Commons)