- A new study finds that men who do more housework have LESS SEX. I don't believe that for a second. I mean, the young Hispanic dancer named Pablo that I hire to clean my house on a weekly basis and I have plenty of sex. Uh, I mean . . . wow, what a crazy stat huh guys?
- The economy SHRANK in the fourth quarter for the first time since 2009. When asked for comment the economy said it didn't shrink it was just really, really cold.
- Porno star Ron Jeremy is in CRITICAL CONDITION after suffering a heart aneurysm. Well that's not surprising I mean the guy has lived a HARD life! (RIM-SHOT)
- Three monkeys in Texas have PICKED the 49ers to win the Super Bowl. Big deal the only dumb ape who's Super Bowl prediction I care about is ESPN's Chris Berman.
- A 105-year-old California woman recently PASSED her driver's test. That's crazy! I mean who knew they still do driver's tests with a horse and buggy?
(Image Courtesy: geowulf. Creative Commons)