- Domino's Pizza in Japan is offering a MAYONNAISE PIZZA. This just in: Honey Boo Boo and her family have decided to move to Japan.
- Seattle has PURCHASED the Sacramento Kings! Residents of Sacramento are upset . . . not because of the NBA thing, just because they live in Sacramento . . . so, nothing new.
- Honda is RECALLING 807,000 minivans . . . it's the most tragic thing to happen to white America since the TV show "Friends" ended.
- Everybody is talking about Michelle Obama's NEW BANGS. Well it's good to see American has gotten back to focusing on what's really important.
- A Harvard scientist is looking for women who want to be SURROGATE mother's to neanderthal children. The only downside? You'll have to have sex with Ronnie from Jersey Shore.
(Image Courtesy: Seth W.. Creative Commons)