Jubal's News (01/22/13)

• Domino's Pizza in Japan is offering a MAYONNAISE PIZZA.  This just in: Honey Boo Boo and her family have decided to move to Japan.

• Seattle has PURCHASED the Sacramento Kings!  Residents of Sacramento are upset . . . not because of the NBA thing, just because they live in Sacramento . . . so, nothing new.

• Honda is RECALLING 807,000 minivans . . . it's the most tragic thing to happen to white America since the TV show "Friends" ended.

• Everybody is talking about Michelle Obama's NEW BANGS.  Well it's good to see American has gotten back to focusing on what's really important.

• A Harvard scientist is looking for women who want to be SURROGATE mother's to neanderthal children.  The only downside?  You'll have to have sex with Ronnie from Jersey Shore.

(Image Courtesy: Seth W.. Creative Commons)