- Hawaii is tired of dealing with HOMELESS PEOPLE so it's set aside money to buy them one-way tickets to the continental United States. However they will have to pay the $35 "panhandling while flying" fee.
- A four year old with the IQ of 145 has been invited to join MENSA. Big deal; I'm so good at math the other day I perfectly timed cooking my microwave burrito. Let's see her do that!
- Airline passengers have started BRIBING each other for better seats. I did this . . . the other day I offered this dude 20 bucks and one of my airplane shots and he actually let me fly it.
- A guy on Twitter figured out how many LICKS it actually takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. It's amazing what people can do when they're busy NOT having sex isn't it?
- A rare condition makes a guy feel ORGASMIC when he hears "James Bond" music. I do the same, except it's when I hear the theme from "Fast and Furious".
(Image Courtesy: Sam Howzit. Creative Commons)