A lawmaker wants to change HALLOWEEN from October 31st to the last Saturday in October. Hey, as long as he's not trying to stop women from skanking up various occupations for their costumes, I'm cool with it. read more ≫
15% of adults say they've seen a GHOST. The other 45% never met Michael Jackson when he was alive.
Doctors have found that one symptom of rabies in women is an unrelenting SEX DRIVE. I'll now begin training my army of rabid, assault squirrels to bite any hot chick they see. read more ≫
Helpful hint: if you're going to SELL DRUGS, DON'T make a "heroin for sale" sign.
A new study shows that the average woman looks their BEST for 2 hours and 22 minutes after getting ready. Unless of course your driver's license reads "Susan Boyle". read more ≫
The age that people start to hate looking in the MIRROR is 45. Or, if you're Susan Boyle, birth.
Police in Ohio KILLED 49 exotic animals, 6 were rescued and the monkey with herpes was eaten by a tiger. I think that pretty much sums it up. read more ≫
Scientists have created the world's most RELAXING song . . . and yes, it too is heavily autotuned and talks about popping bottles in the club.
28% of the surfaces in your gym are contaminated with BODILY FLUIDS. All I can say is, oops, sorry. read more ≫
Here are the 6 worst Halloween CANDIES. This is exactly why I'll be passing out a healthy option this October 31st . . . it's called meth.
The new iPhone may have already BROKEN UP its first marriage. And surprisingly it ISN'T do to a sexting senator. read more ≫
Here's a list of 10 ways that your job is KILLING you. P.S. Happy Monday!
1 in 6 cell phones is contaminated with FECAL MATTER. Well of course, it's bound to get dirty when you're taking that many naked cell phone pics. read more ≫
A woman in New York who was arrested for public nudity FLASHED the judge in court . . . and had her case dismissed. Oh sure, SHE does it and her case is dismissed, I do it and they're all like "30-days in jail". read more ≫
Here's a list of 7 ways to keep your immune system HEALTHY. Surprisingly; all night binge-drinking sex romps DIDN'T make the list.
18% of people have used a COUPON on a first date. I've never done that! (Mostly because they don't offer coupons for McDonald's dollar menu). read more ≫